I’m thankful for the souls that took the time to plant the seed, the ones that watered that seed, and for the Good Lord who shone his light down from above in order to grow that seed.
Those seeds fell on good ground.
They were watered by faithful hands
and warmed by the light of the Son.
And what grew became the foundation of my whole life.
At the top of the roller coaster and at the very bottom.
When life turned me upside down.
When I was lost. When I grieved.
When doors closed and windows opened.
When the promotions came,
and the blessings I know I never deserved.
Through every disappointment and every blessing,
I found myself leaning on the Lord.
That foundation was the beginning of yet another love story.
A love that doesn't disappoint.
A love that chooses me, over and over again.
A love that will never leave me nor forsake me.
You'll find me writing about this love here,
because it is truly forever.
Not even death will part us.
It will only bring us together.
It Started With My Mother
Long before there was a boy, there was my mother.
She used to look at me and say, "I'm going to raise you differently." Not once. Over and over, all through my childhood. I would nod the way little girls do, with no idea what she meant.
She took me to church. Not one church, at first. Every church. Catholic Mass. The Kingdom Hall. Baptist pews. A Pentecostal service here and there. Sunday mornings and weeknights, again and again, just the two of us, side by side. She wasn't trying to find the right building. She was trying to make sure her daughter knew God.
When I was about nine, we found our home: a Spanish-speaking Methodist church. That is where I was raised. I learned the Word and sang the hymns in Spanish, and I grew up in those pews until I was eighteen, when we moved to a nondenominational Christian church.
Every summer she sent me to vacation Bible school at a little Lutheran church not far from where I grew up. One summer, at that church, a seven-year-old girl gave her heart to Jesus.
I didn't know then that my mother was laying a foundation in me on purpose. I didn't know I would one day stand on it with everything I had.
…Thank you for raising me differently. I finally know what you meant.
“My mother planted. My mother-in-law watered. God shone his light.”
Then Came a Boy
If you read my first post, you know where it started. I was a 15-year-old freshman. He was a 17-year-old junior. We hadn't given each other a second look until he leaned over and kissed me. Not long after, he told me he was going to marry me one day.
What I haven't told you is what we found once we started really talking.
We had both been raised in church. Both of us. Two kids from two different homes, raised by two different families, and somehow we had both been handed the same Book.
So we talked about it. For hours. Late into the night on the phone, going back and forth over scripture, sometimes agreeing, sometimes not. Some people would have called it debating. To me, it was falling in love with someone who was hungry for the same things I was.
I didn't see it then. I see it now. God had been building something in each of us, separately, for years, before He ever let our paths cross. That was no accident. There was a plan.
The Couple Who Saved Me a Seat
About three months in, I met his parents.
They were sweet as pie. I loved them from the very first moment. And before I'd even settled into my chair, they were talking to me about Jesus.
Soon his mother invited me to one of their church services. I said yes without a second thought.
I still remember that first night. Church wasn't in a sanctuary. It was in the YMCA downtown, by the lake. An invitation was given, to walk down to the front and receive prayer. I stayed in my seat. They were very open about receiving the Holy Ghost and speaking in other tongues. I knew of it, but I hadn't received it yet. So I sat there with my heart full and just took it all in.
But I went back. And back again. Sometimes twice a week. His parents would pull up to my house, and I'd climb in, and off we'd go to hear the kind of preaching that opens the Bible wide and asks you to sit with it.
I wonder sometimes if they knew what they were giving me. A ride. A seat. A Word I would need more than I could have imagined.
When the Ground Gave Way
I wish I could tell you that a boy raised in church and a girl who had been saved made every right choice from there.
We didn't. He didn't.
The young man I loved, raised by those two precious people, made some bad choices. Choices that would break my heart and turn our young lives completely upside down. I will tell you that story. Just not today; that’s for next week.
I know some will judge quickly. All this talk of church and salvation, and look what happened. But I've never met a Christian who got it right every time. I certainly haven't. Jesus said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone." No one could. He himself was the only one worthy.
Here is what I know. When everything shook, I didn't fall through. I fell onto something. My mother's Sundays. His parents' back seat. Hours of scripture on the phone with a boy I loved. I see clearly now, as I look back, the foundation being poured.
And it held.
To my daughter: I raised you under the hand of the Lord, doing my very best with what I knew at the time. It was all I had to give, and I pray it was enough.
To my granddaughters: You will always have a praying grandmother interceding for you. I pray that every seed planted in you lands on good ground, that the right people cross your path to water it, and that God will always shine His light on you.
A little advice from me to you
You won’t always understand what is happening in your life while it’s happening. I didn’t. Some things happened because of choices I made, and there are always consequences. Others, I had no control over. And I certainly couldn’t have told you why the heartbreaks had to come.
Something else worth mentioning: some of the things that seemed so big back then weren’t really that big at all. Funny how clearly I see that now.
But I can tell you now. Every Sunday, every ride, every late-night conversation was a seed being planted, watered, and given the light it needed to grow.
So when life doesn’t make sense, don’t dig too deep for the answers. Some things just aren’t for us to know. It’s best to leave those matters to the One who has our back. Trust that the Lord sees the whole garden when you can only see the dirt.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)
One day you’ll look back, the way I’m looking back now, and you’ll see it. There was a plan all along.
Before I sign off…sharing another first
Taking the train across the country solo. I could have flown, the way I always do. But I wanted to know what it felt like to ride an overnight train for days. So from North Carolina to Colorado, I did. We stopped in towns along the way that I had never even heard of, and I loved every one of them.
One of those stops was in Virginia, and of course I found a coffee shop. Petite MarieBette, a quaint little spot I stumbled upon like it had been waiting for me. Give me a new town and a little time, and I will always find the coffee shop.
I boarded and planned that train with every intention of being productive. Bookkeeping to catch up on, emails to answer, a list a mile long. Instead, the opposite happened. I sat by the window and watched the country roll by. I wandered to the dining car. I let myself rest.
I didn't check off a single thing on that list, and it was one of the most peaceful trips of my life. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is let the work wait and enjoy the ride.
So here is my invitation to you. If you have never taken a trip on your own, take one. It doesn't have to be far, and it doesn't have to be long. A night in a nearby town. A drive to a place you've always wondered about. A day with no plans at all. Just go somewhere you can do as you please, eat when you're hungry, stay as long as you like, and never once check in with anyone. No schedules, no permission, just you.
You might find out how much you enjoy your own company. I sure did.
Virginia Stop
Petite Marie Bette Coffee Shop
